White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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