I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
