Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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