Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Pants are for mortals
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
