I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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