My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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