My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
