Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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