Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Fuck appropriateness.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
