I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
