I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
