im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
