playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
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Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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