Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
