Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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