My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
