just come out here and I will go home with you...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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