So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
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