It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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