I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
