No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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