i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
