I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
