Pregnant stripper...not hot.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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