question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
