the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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