I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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