Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
