How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
