No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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