If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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