i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I understand Curling. That high.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
