I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
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Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
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It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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