hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
