dude i'm inner monologue high
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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