I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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