If i come over, it means nothing
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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