she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
