I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
