im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize