And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
