i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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