Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
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You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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