I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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