i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just found puke in my bra..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
