she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
