That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize