so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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