did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize