i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
