I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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