heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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