Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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