remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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