And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
