She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
