Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
