Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
